My Mother’s Spirit

I don’t know how she does it, but she does. Her spirit just makes beautiful music no matter what. It could be a bad storm, A blizzard, an earthquake, a hurricane and still her spirit remains as joyful and pleasant.

No matter what’s going on around her, good or bad, positive or negative. It’s gotta be a gift from the most high. I just have to say that I admire it greatly.

I think I have a little bit of it because I am her daughter, but I don’t believe I received all of it. It is definitely her gift though. A persons energy, vibe, sincerity, love and beauty, all deriving from the inside.

It was in there all along. From the utterance of wisdom to the teachings of the value of upholding your standards. For my mother it’s about channeling her spirit to uplift and brighten up the spirit, morale and confidence of others.

It’s a beautiful gift indeed. One that many, I think would not mind having. To show beauty and love to others and bring out the beauty and love in others. That is what we need more of. I am honored that this is the type of spirit that lives in my Mother. I am truly obliged.

-LeXXah Drew It-

What Should LOVE feel like!?

Let’s start with something easy………for one, it should feel good.

Not just according to the flesh or physically, but spiritually, mentally, emotionally, orally, metaphorically, figuratively and literally.

Love should feel like an abundance of peace and comfort.

Please don’t mistaken the word, “LOVE” for the word, “LUST”. 2 different things, 2 different entities and 2 different words that derive from 2 different sources.

Many people confuse these 2 terms as the same and they’re not. So, I just wanted to address that before I go any further.

In theory, “LOVE” should be & feel unconditional. It should feel light and natural like the air we breathe. The majority of the stress is positive stress. “LOVE” should feel like understanding and knowing that under any circumstances that love purposely will not harm you. The approach is patient and kind. Envious and keeping track of wrongs and holding grudges is not how love should feel.

Love should feel good. Okay, then what is good?

According to Dictionary.com
1. morally excellent; virtuous; righteous
2. satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree
3. of high quality; excellent.

You know how “LOVE” should feel. So, does it actually feel to you on a daily basis? Does how it should feel match up to how it actually is?

-LeXXah Drew It-

So, Whose Got Yo Back!?

Well other than God and Jesus, I’d like to think, loved ones.

But its not like that for everyone.

When we sit and think about who really has our back, some people say they Momma, they Daddy, they sister, they brother, the god parent, they Auntie, they Uncle, you get the picture.

But nowadays its really hard to really say who has your back until you really go through something that brings you to your lowest point in life.

Theoretically, blood is suppose to always have your back, but we have all seen that this in most cases is NOT true. Sometimes your blood will be the first if not the second to turn their back on you when you hit that major pickle and sometimes the minor ones too. It just all depends.

Everyone would like to believe that blood has your back. But really its like tossing up a coin and hoping that they will be there for you. Nothing is for certain these days. Its the hard truth of life.

People talk about it all the time, mention it on twitter, comment on it on facebook and post pics on Instagram that “I am not perfect,” “I fail daily,” We as people and human beings know this, but still, with that knowledge, people often fall to the forgetfulness of that truth when someone gets into trouble or is going through really tough times.

People begin to condemn and throw stones, talk bad about that person instead of uplifting that person through the known and unknown trial. People make it a point to just make a man feel lower than what his or her predicament already has him or her in. Its really sad when you think about it.

And then those same people want to come back with that same truth of, “I am not perfect,” “I fail daily.” Talk about contradicting. I see it all the time. So, I know someone else does too.

Knowing who really has your back though is important. There are signs that can let you know, such as the minor signs. You gotta know who really supports you when it is all said and done. At some point in our lives we all have some type of situation where we need help or depend on someone to come through.

Don’t deny this. Think very hard before you disagree with that statement. I’d like to think that those who are reading this now, you were once a baby!!!!!!

Listen to the signs, pay attention to your surroundings. Their are clues, signs and messages that advertise this question on a daily basis. You have a right to know this and don’t dare think its a one way ticket. Whose back do you have!?

-LeXXah Drew It-

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One Day I’ll Introduce Myself to my Mom

I will say “Hello” to her. I will tell her my name. The name of the real idea of me. I will not lie.

I want her to one day know who her daughter is and how she came to be. She has a right to know. She is my Mother.

The person that she knows according to her isn’t really me. Some of it is, but not all. A long time ago I created an image of myself on the right side of my brain.

I loved my identity. I loved what I saw. I told my image that I wanted to be just like her. I looked up to her so much that becoming one with her would allow me to be me but the way I always imagined and dreamed.

Call it an improved version of myself. My Momma doesn’t know this version of myself. But I would like for her to know that me. One day! Right now she is not ready and it is safer to just play my role as the daughter she knows.

Some call this the alter ego. After all I am an all around artist, a Renaissance chick. Others may call it crazy, schizophrenia, touched or “Special”!

Many people may not be familiar with it. But those that create, imagine or dream on a class 5 mutant level, already know where I’m coming from.

I love my Mother. She is a beautiful woman, a Holiness woman. It will be a beautiful day when I introduce myself to her. It will compare much like, but not quite like, being born again.

She may not hold me as she did when I was a baby, but the hug will be genuine.

I already know that some people reading this might for a second think that this other version of me is bad or negative in some way, but I’m not at all.

Have you ever imagined being who you are in another way? Not like someone else, more like someone else and that someone else just so happens to be you. It may be complicated to understand for some, but for those who have an open mind about it, it’s very feasible.

The stories that I will share with my Mom will be grand. It will be like an adventure that she’s reading from a book and after hearing it all she will be in awe and I think she will like that version of me.

I would never get rid of the one she knows though. To shun that version all together would be selfish. That version of me is the strongest connection that she has with that me.

But one day, one day, one day, she will know. Signs around me will let me know. They always do. I will stay forever watchful.

-LeXXah Drew It-

There Is Nobody to Invite to My Wedding!

I’m just being realistic and its not a bad thing. Are you a prospective bride and/or groom who feels this way?

Weddings are one of the most beautiful events in the culture of mankind. I love them actually. 4 of my siblings are happily married and I am overjoyed for all of them.

I think weddings represent a ceremony of love and spiritual binding of becoming one with the one you are in-love with and want to spend the rest of your life with. At least, theoretically. Different people may have other ideas, motives or depictions when it comes to weddings, but I can only share my thoughts on it.

Now, most people would say, “Girl, you do have someone you can invite…..shoo, your parents for one, your siblings, your friends, cousins, teachers etc.”

Although, that response may be true, the title still remains the same. You see, a wedding isn’t just about how many people you invite. I’ve seen weddings where it is a packed house and more than half the people there, you don’t know and could care less about you getting married, they just want something to talk about and discuss where they would rank your wedding in the top 10. Then there’s that special topic where people guess how much ya Pops spent on your wedding. Lol. That’s the kicker right there.

How many of you all have been to those or witnessed that!!??

It should be about inviting those who really count. Inviting those who support you and love you for you. Inviting those that have really been there and support who you will spend the rest of your life with.

People should take this more into consideration. And once you really start thinking about it, its like dang, the list is very thin and very much close to ZERO. This may not be true for everyone, but I think you would be surprised on how true it is with some people.

I think sometimes people’s idea of a wedding more times than not is having alot of people (old friends, new friends, ex-friends, etc.), alot of gifts, dressing up, partying, the glitz and glamor and the talk of the town for about a week or two.

Does that sound about right? Did I miss anything? Oh, a fat reception and a really big cake. I don’t know.

This is one of those blogs where I’m talking much about nothing, but the title came to me and I thought it would be interesting to talk about. Its nothing negative about weddings, but a neutral topic.

I’ve seen brides and grooms ask the question, “Man, why are they here? Who invited them?” Lol. Some of the things that just go on during the course of the events are just hilarious and off the chain.

-LeXXah Drew It-

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LOVE is selfless

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LOVE is selfless……. ………

So, how long do you have to be selfless?

Well, LOVE is lasting, therefore it is forever, which means selfless is forever.

To put others before yourself is a noble and humbling sacrifice that seeks no reward.

If rewards existed…

In that case it would be LOVE with benefits. If you focus on LOVE, there will always be something greater in store for you. If you focus on the benefits, then you will always fall short or miss out on what LOVE truly has to offer.

Focus on LOVE in its purest form. That’s the only way to go and it is what will last more than a billion plus lifetimes.

-LeXXah Drew It-

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My Kids Make Me HAPPY!!!

The truth is, I don’t have any kids, at least not at the moment, but, they show do make me HAPPY!!!

It’s the thought that counts. I love kids. It is my dream to one day have children. I feel that it is a Blessing and I see the value of having a big family.

I come from a big family, so it is an inspiration.

Happy LeXXah Drew!

A Good feel & a Good Look

It will be so cool and unique to see what features, characteristics & personality attributes my kids take from me.

I feel that I have so much to offer to my future kids and I know they are not here yet or have not been activated, but I love them to death. #CHEESE!

And yes, I already have the names picked out. It’s exciting, super exciting.

I pray about them because I don’t just think about the here and now, but my future as well. It means alot to me to think about my next moves down the road.

That includes taking care of myself as best as I can because the health of the child has a lot to do with the health of the mother. Not only that, being in a solid financial position to take care of my kids and provide them with opportunity moreso than what I have now is imperative and high priority on my list. I want to bring my kids into this world in the best situation possible all the way around the board. What parent in their right mind wouldn’t??

If anybody asked me, “What Makes You Happy?” other than God, Jesus, my immediate family, my kids make me happy!!!!!

And the day that it comes, I’ll be even happier.

-LeXXah Drew It-

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“He Can Not Draw Me!” LeXXah Drew Poetry Sunday

…………….AND HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH MY FACE BECAUSE HE THINKS MY FACE IS BEAUTIFUL.

HE REMEMBERS MY FACE AND MY EYES REMEMBER HIM. AND WITHIN MY REMEMBERANCE, IT IS BECAUSE OF MY GIFT THAT CLAIMED ME AS AN ARTIST, IN AN ARTISTS’ EYES I CAN FORGET NOT HIS FACE.

HE TURNS AWAY, HE TURNS HIS BACK, HE TURNS TO DO HIS DAILY ROUTINE, BUT WHILE HE IS TURNED HE LOOKS AT A BLANK CANVAS. HE FEELS ITS TOUCH. HE FEELS ITS HEAVEN. THE BLANK SPOT IS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE HE CAN ENVISION ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL THAT COMES TO HIS MIND, ON IT.

HE ENVISIONS MY FACE AND THE CANVAS IS BEAUTIFUL. HE ARISES FROM STILL THE MEDIUM AND BEGINS TO DRAW BEAUTIFUL, BUT IN A MOMENTS BREATH HE STOPS.

………………………………………..

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HE CAN NOT DRAW MY FACE. MY FACE IS IN HIS MIND. MY FACE SMILES, GRINS, FLAUNTS AND CARESSES HIS ACTIONS. HIS THUMB FLOATS ACROSS MY BOTTOM LIP AND FROM LEFT TO RIGHT I BLINK ONE TIME. IT IS SLOW, IT IS CALM, IT IS LOVE THAT WRAPS HIS PRESENT. IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL IN HIS MIND, BUT HE CAN NOT DRAW ME.

HE WONDERS WHY, HE PONDERS? IS IT BECAUSE HE DOES NOT REMEMBER HOW!!?? MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE SOMETIMES BEAUTY IS NOT MEANT TO BE DRAWN, TO BE DRAWN ON THE WORLD’S MOST THINNEST TREE…………….

MAYBE SOMETIMES BEAUTY IS TO BE DRAWN, TO BE KEPT IN A MORE SACRED PLACE. NOT SO MUCH IN THE MIND, BUT THE VERY THING THAT IS SHIELDED BY THE BREAST PLATE. NO, MY FACE IS NOT HARD TO DRAW MY LOVE, IT JUST BELONGS ON A DIFFERENT TYPE OF CANVAS AND WITH A MEDIUM THAT HAS NO WIDTH OF A STROKE.

-LeXXah Drew It-

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Discombobulated Spirit

It’s like a combination of natural disasters going ham inside of your temple.

A variety of emotions bundled up and built up inside of you and the vessel can no longer contain the beast inside.

It’s gotta come out.

I hate it anytime it comes. I never want it in me, but I especially hate it in the wee hours of the morning as soon as I wake up. It’s devastation to me and those around me.

It’s one of those things where, I don’t feel like being bothered and the crazy thing is, is that I’m aware that it’s in me and I have to tell my heart to tell my mind to calm down and be at peace.

And I don’t do it on my own.

God is aware that my body & spirit is discombobulated and I thank God that he does. He is the one who puts it on my heart to be at peace, to be calm, letting me know that everything is okay and to be easy.

It is He, who reminds me that I am a beautiful person and that Satan is a lie. My day does not have to start off this way or be this way.

A discombobulated spirit weighs so heavy on you as a person. I just know that I have to stay prayerful and if I feel this feeling coming to just pray for myself.

The last thing I want is for my downfalls and spiritual state of disposition to bring down those around me.

And we all, each have our downfalls, but I can only speak for myself and on myself.

God has everything under control and everything is okay. I am in good health, my family loves me, I’m Blessed to see another day, I’m in my right mind, I have all my strength, I’m breathing just fine.

God is good all the time. I thank God today because now my spirit is at a calmer state. I feel lighter and my tone and disposition is where it should be.

Love heard my discombobulated spirit and brought me out. All I can say, is Thank You Lord!!! A true testimony.

“Speechless” LeXXah Drew Poetry Sunday

I don’t know what to say, so I’m sayin it.
I don’t know what to think, but I’m thinking it.
I don’t know what gesture to make, but the gesture just comes.
I’m looking at the television, but all I see is space, the daydream.

The experience is peaceful for that moment & quite calm to the spirit.
I read the words in an article or a book, but I don’t understand what it’s saying.
The words formed into a sentence structure is cool though.

I speed through the chapters.

I hear broken records speak to me, but it goes through one ear & out the other.
What does all this mean?
That as people we have so much going on in our lives that we just have moments where we are, “SPEECHLESS”?

When you calculate in our daily struggles, spiritual malfunctions, flaws, mistakes, errors, addictions, mental relapses & more that all we encounter leads to large quantities of small, mid-size & long moments of being, “SPEECHLESS”?

I don’t know…………..I’m not really thinking about it at the moment as a noun, adjective or verb! “I’m Speechless right now!”

-LeXXah Drew It-

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