One Day I’ll Introduce Myself to my Mom

I will say “Hello” to her. I will tell her my name. The name of the real idea of me. I will not lie.

I want her to one day know who her daughter is and how she came to be. She has a right to know. She is my Mother.

The person that she knows according to her isn’t really me. Some of it is, but not all. A long time ago I created an image of myself on the right side of my brain.

I loved my identity. I loved what I saw. I told my image that I wanted to be just like her. I looked up to her so much that becoming one with her would allow me to be me but the way I always imagined and dreamed.

Call it an improved version of myself. My Momma doesn’t know this version of myself. But I would like for her to know that me. One day! Right now she is not ready and it is safer to just play my role as the daughter she knows.

Some call this the alter ego. After all I am an all around artist, a Renaissance chick. Others may call it crazy, schizophrenia, touched or “Special”!

Many people may not be familiar with it. But those that create, imagine or dream on a class 5 mutant level, already know where I’m coming from.

I love my Mother. She is a beautiful woman, a Holiness woman. It will be a beautiful day when I introduce myself to her. It will compare much like, but not quite like, being born again.

She may not hold me as she did when I was a baby, but the hug will be genuine.

I already know that some people reading this might for a second think that this other version of me is bad or negative in some way, but I’m not at all.

Have you ever imagined being who you are in another way? Not like someone else, more like someone else and that someone else just so happens to be you. It may be complicated to understand for some, but for those who have an open mind about it, it’s very feasible.

The stories that I will share with my Mom will be grand. It will be like an adventure that she’s reading from a book and after hearing it all she will be in awe and I think she will like that version of me.

I would never get rid of the one she knows though. To shun that version all together would be selfish. That version of me is the strongest connection that she has with that me.

But one day, one day, one day, she will know. Signs around me will let me know. They always do. I will stay forever watchful.

-LeXXah Drew It-

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On the Last TRIPLE DOUBLE Date,12/12/2012

Guess what!!!!!! I was Blessed to see another day and I am thankful for that.

Someone is not able to say that, but I am.

I’m so pissed that I didn’t get married today. SMH. Well, the good thing is, is that somebody did. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Whoever you are! I hope in some way, form or fashion that LOVE had something to do with it. The REAL LOVE, NOT the fake one.

Other than all the numbers being the same and this being the last triple double date known to man. This day was yet another day for me to better myself as a person, a child of God, a young woman and a role model.

If you really want this day to mean something, make it really mean something and not just because of the triple double date.  I know alot of people are celebrating hard and doing some crazy stuff, but everyday is a gift no matter what number it is or what date, even if its a triple double.

What should we expect on New Years? I hope I don’t hear the word resolutions. I may have to turn off my computer and my phone on that day, just to avoid it. Remember people, everyday is a day to get better. Getting better shouldn’t be an annual thing nor should it be a one day thing. Just some words of advise.

My Father always says, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life!” It is always a new beginning and this is with the assumption that you are living.

Today on 12/12/2012, this is the first day of the rest of my life. On yesterday it was the same thing and the day before that and the day before that and I pray that on tomorrow that will be the first day of the rest of my life as well and in the near and distant future.

But, on today, I’ve made it official on my blog on the last triple double date. And yes, I do have basketball on my mind. Everybody seems to have created some unique name for today, well my title for it is the triple double. That’s pretty hot huh!!??

It is Eastern time zone where I’m at and there is only about an hour left of the last triple double date. I’m about to spend the rest of it probably fixing up my hair, doing some laundry, a little bit of cleaning to my place and then watching a movie. Yep, I’m doin’ it BIG! Lol. Aight people, I shall blog you tomorrow!

-LeXXah Drew It-

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