Be REAL Up Front

Yea, I know you’re getting your hustle on. The big talk makes you sound good. The name droppin seems like its the cool thing to do, but I’m not that baby whose just now gettin the feet wet.

Maybe gettin over on people is your thing, maybe it’s not, but I will say this, if you are going to approach me, come to me right. Come to me professional. Come to me like you have some sense. Don’t assume that I’m an idiot or just because I’m a Black sista that I’m not business savvy. That goes for my team as well.

Don’t attempt to downplay what I do because what I do is my way of living. Everything I do is of strong value. Just be up front with me.

My Momma always taught me not to beat around the bushes. So, I say the same to you, don’t beat around the bushes with me.

It’s just like confronting a person after they did something to you. When you confront somebody, you don’t go to a third and secondary party, you go to the primary person and confront them. After all, we are all grown here. And if you are not the legal grown, you still want to practice being up front with people and with some sense.

It was on my mind. Just being up front because somebody has to, might as well be me!

-LeXXah Drew It-

One Day I’ll Introduce Myself to my Mom

I will say “Hello” to her. I will tell her my name. The name of the real idea of me. I will not lie.

I want her to one day know who her daughter is and how she came to be. She has a right to know. She is my Mother.

The person that she knows according to her isn’t really me. Some of it is, but not all. A long time ago I created an image of myself on the right side of my brain.

I loved my identity. I loved what I saw. I told my image that I wanted to be just like her. I looked up to her so much that becoming one with her would allow me to be me but the way I always imagined and dreamed.

Call it an improved version of myself. My Momma doesn’t know this version of myself. But I would like for her to know that me. One day! Right now she is not ready and it is safer to just play my role as the daughter she knows.

Some call this the alter ego. After all I am an all around artist, a Renaissance chick. Others may call it crazy, schizophrenia, touched or “Special”!

Many people may not be familiar with it. But those that create, imagine or dream on a class 5 mutant level, already know where I’m coming from.

I love my Mother. She is a beautiful woman, a Holiness woman. It will be a beautiful day when I introduce myself to her. It will compare much like, but not quite like, being born again.

She may not hold me as she did when I was a baby, but the hug will be genuine.

I already know that some people reading this might for a second think that this other version of me is bad or negative in some way, but I’m not at all.

Have you ever imagined being who you are in another way? Not like someone else, more like someone else and that someone else just so happens to be you. It may be complicated to understand for some, but for those who have an open mind about it, it’s very feasible.

The stories that I will share with my Mom will be grand. It will be like an adventure that she’s reading from a book and after hearing it all she will be in awe and I think she will like that version of me.

I would never get rid of the one she knows though. To shun that version all together would be selfish. That version of me is the strongest connection that she has with that me.

But one day, one day, one day, she will know. Signs around me will let me know. They always do. I will stay forever watchful.

-LeXXah Drew It-

The World Is So GOOD at “REJECTING!”

………………because that is what the world knows the best.

The world has rejecting down to a science.

You’d think that with all that this world has to offer to a person that rejection would be the last action on the list, but the world would rather accept those who pay or sacrifice a major price then accept a man or woman for their genuine talent and that’s it.

Its the ulterior motives, the disclaimers, the what are you going to do for me, the what are you going to give up, the limitations unless…….and if you don’t, well, go kick rocks.

You have to give up something that is valuable and/or precious to you. In some cases, sometimes what is being asked of you is your very soul. This is the price in most cases for not being rejected. What are you willing to do and how far are you willing to go to achieve what you desire most in this world?

SMH. The world knows you, knows me, knows us too well. Now, I’m not saying that in some scenarios this may not be true, but there is always some type of price no matter how big or how small.

It could be in the forms of politics, popularity, money, time, sex (including oral), an intangible, a tangible, signing your life and/or your work away, selling your soul, going against your morals or standards, you get the point.

You see, the world’s goal is to squeeze every ounce of innocence out of you, to see how far you will go, to see how much you can take before you break and then comes the back stabbing or vessels to remind you all that you did to get to where you are, focusing mainly on the negative, the bad and the ugly. Think about some of your favorite actors, artists, entertainers and/or celebrities in general. And if you have followed these big time names/people since they first came out, you can see in most of them if not all of them, the 360 change in who they are from when they first came out on the scene.

The influences and pressures of the world have the ability to manipulate who you are and what you will become if granted the blessings of the world. The world wants to take you and mold you into something else. What that is? Well, it varies with each person.

See, we all came to this world as babies. We were ourselves, but as we lived and grew up in this world and created goals and fought for what we believed in, as we matured and formed attitudes and strong emotions and passions and a love for what we did and what we were good at, the world was there witnessing it all. Taking us through different things, creating obstacles to block us from what was to be ours to begin with. Haters were going toe to toe with us. They talked about us behind our backs. We were not liked for the beautiful gifts we possessed. Yes, the world was jealous of us, ever since we were born.

They saw our gifts and our youth and innocence and because we have it compared to those that don’t have it or at one point had it but now they don’t, the world rejects us. Favoritism, politics, money, power and darkness became the ally of the world. They became one. They loved each other so much and understood they had something. They read each others minds and so therefore they were linked.

They made a pack with each other against those that with their gift and having none of the features of the world’s allies, that getting somewhere would be at the mercy of the gate keeper(s).

Did you know that the World is a living organism? Well, guess what, it is. Think of the World as an actual person, a human being. It has the capabilities that any other human has, but it has something else too. It operates as an entity. It has the strengths of both subjects, but the weakness of an entity. It relies on natural and physical elements and chooses not to feel unless it is of close ties with the its allies.

REJECTION!

That is its first nature, its first love. The World is so quick to reject because its just that easy. The World is going to be aight, its going to sustain, its going to make its money and replenish and grow stronger as those beneath it grow weaker. The World wants you and me to ask it for something so that it has the pleasure to say, “No!”

It makes it feel more like a macho man, like it is in power, its in control. What are you going to do? Some people will actually do nothing. They will shake they’re heads, “Yes,” and go back to the norm. And then you have those who fight to the death to the very end, who find it within themselves that rejection will not be accepted nor will it be the last say to their dreams. What do you do when you get knocked down? Do you stay down or do you get back up and do it again.”

What will rejection do to you?

The World has already preconceived what it will do. It is a brick wall. It won’t knock itself down unless you knock it down. This my friend is about character. What will you do when you face adversity?

-LeXXah Drew It-

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“I Sing Because I’m Happy”

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I sing because in this world, I’m not FREE, the real Free.

So I sing so that in my spiritual form I can be Free.

God makes my world beautiful and if it wasn’t for Him, things would be in worse conditions.

I know the beginning was not what you expected for those who know the song, but I think things should be clarified.

This is not preaching nor is it chuuurch! If you are looking for that then bible study is coming up on Wednesday and church is this Sunday. You may not want to miss the morning service.

Let me tell you something about happiness…………. It feels so good when I doo-doo in the toilet. You know why?

Because the body rids itself of all the toxic wastes & bacteria that doesn’t belong while allowing you body to be relieved of a heavy burden.

The experience is rejuvenating. You know, you’ve experienced it. It is that moment when you close your eyes and have that relief smile on your face and your head pointed up in the sky like you are receiving a Blessing from above.

That my friend isn’t just by design. It is spiritual. You experience such freedom in your mind, body and soul.

It is the same when you drink water after a long hot day outside or after an intense workout. The way that water dances with your tongue, marinates with you saliva and runs down your throat, it’s manifestation. You are being delivered from dehydration. It is freedom, a freedom that makes you happy.

So happy that in you spirit you want to sing. You know of this, you do.

Take the shower for example, when that hot or super warm heat hits every ounce of your body as it marinates with the suds from the soap. It washes away and cleanses the dirt off and away. And like a kid, you play with the water, it’s flow, it’s delivery.

And the feeling is just so right that you begin to sing in the shower. It is a relaxation that you have to sing about. Sometimes you’re putting on a stellar concert, other times you’re practicing in the rehearsal hall, but no matter what you are singing because you are happy. You are singing because in all three of those moments you are free.

In this world, we are not free and I’m not talking about prison. There are other forces outside of prison that limit our freedom. But God, provides such freedom and Blessings that when all seems to fail in this world, He doesn’t. It’s a GREAT feeling.

We are reminded when we doo-doo, when we drink water & when we take showers.

Take note when you do these things and sing your heart out, sing because you are HAPPY!

-LeXXah Drew It-

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They Watch from a Distance………………

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LOL.

Yea, its complicated and frustrating and interesting.

I think it has more to do with your level, your bread and popularity according to who knows you. It has absolutely nothing to do with talent.

So, they wait and watch from a distance. They are never too close where if you don’t make it, they can say that they had nothing to do with you, but they are not too far where if you do make it, they were with you all along.

I know that game, do you?

At some point in time or another, one may go through this. It literally is a watching game. A spectator game.

It is, what can you do for me and if the answer is nothing or it doesn’t have FREE up in there somewhere, its just a keep on walking and don’t say nothing. It looks appealing to look though.

I think it is more about just waiting to see what happens, how your life plays out. People want to see what they can get out of you.

So, here you are, busting your butt to accomplish something larger than life and the distance watchers watching from afar. If the signs are promising and become true, they want in on what you’re doing. They want a piece of the pie.

They are not or were not apart of your struggle, but yet they want to be apart of your success. They say things like, “Remember ME when you get there.” “Don’t forget about ME when you get to the top.” “Don’t forget about the little people.”

They put their 2 cents in to try and secure a place with you right before you make it. And still, they watch from a distance. They don’t want to support or help the cause and/or dream, but they want to enjoy the fruits of someone else’s hard working labor.

And the crazy thing is, is that those who do this, would be in denial. No one wants to believe that this type of person being described would be them. They would not claim this description, even though they may shake their head in agreement while reading this.

It literally is funny how that works. I have seen it. Watchers won’t reveal themselves to you. They are too smooth for that. They ease drop and every 2 or 3 months they either call you or stop by to chat with you on FB or Twitter to see if you made it yet. But they don’t just flat out ask you that question. Its indirect.

If it has happened to you, you understand where I’m coming from and understand what I’m talking about. I’ve peeped that sorry game, but one thing I can definitely say about those who watch from a distance, is you learn about what is to come, you learn about who people really are, you learn about who is really on your side and who wants to see you succeed, you learn about how they see you and some see you as a foot stool.

Its nothing to be mad about. You can’t do anything about that, but you can be more aware of whats going on and pay attention to what people are saying and implying through casual conversation. You can be more observant to your surroundings and be street smart.

Watching from a distance is a safe zone for some people. They don’t want to be embarrassed or ashamed that they were seen with you or at one point in time, they were supporting you. They are concerned about whose watching them. They are afraid to be affiliated with an idea if it goes south.

I speak this from experience. I’m not just making this stuff up. I don’t write or speak just to hear myself talk. If I did, I wouldn’t like myself, but since I do like myself, I speak and write with purpose and reason. Somebody out there may not be aware of those who just watch.

There are watchers at all kinds of different levels, but you always have the traditional watchers, in which I described above. Those watchers never change. Stay on the look out, especially when you are a person who dreams BIG and that dream starts out as a concept that you believe in!

-LeXXah Drew It-

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